Star in the sky (a love story)

Okay, i made a story just like this on the other forum so it isn't plagiarism!! Enjoy...

Here's the prologue,

Lola, is a shy girl with an unforgetable past. She likes to be unnoticed. She's kinda small and loves looking at the stars. But when she accidentally gets sucked up by a portal to a seret world in another dimension, where beautiful places are, she thinks she finally belongs somewhere. But there's something out there destroying everything in it's path to get to her. Can she and her new friend fight this together?

part love, part action.

should i make a story like this?

here's a picture of Lola(and Aaron):

https://2img.net/h/i37.photobucket.com/albums/e92/Ryoko2173/Anime/Couples/normal_62.jpg

Okay, I'm Lola, also known as Star. I have a very interesting story to tell you, about my life. I'll start from the beginning...

"Lola, are you okay?" Lola's best friend, Iva asked.
"Yeah?" Lola asked in her usual tone, quiet and soothing. But she wasn't okay. Her father was always so violent and always seemed to be planning something, her father never really liked her that much and no one even talked about her mother. She looked up at her best friend. "Why?"
"Oh, nothing... Hey, tonight do you wanna go see that one movie, "Cry of the Wolf?"
"Sure."
"Okay, I'll see you then..." She said as she ran home.
You just don't understand, do you?

Later that night, after the movie...

"That was SO sad," Iva cried.
"I know, it was so sad when the wolf died."
There was silence between both of them and then Iva spoke...
"Come on, let's go home."

Nothing made sence anymore to Lola.
A week later...
"I swear if you come in my office again little girl, I'll have your head!" Her father yelled.
Lola ran. One of the things she was best at. She ran into the forest, no where in mind. She just ran. She was horrified of her father. He had never loved her. She fell to the ground, crying in pain. She had ran so much there were blisters on her feet. She could see a sudden flash of blood. She turned around to come face to face with a monster one hundred times her size, with teeth, long and sharp, and claws the size of butcher knives. She was paralyzed. She couldn't move. And the monster spoke, deeply, horrifying...

Sounds good do you already have an idea for the other charcter cause I want to see the new character soon it sounds like he would be really cool considering his positition in the story

(thanks. And yes, I do. One minute...)

Wind blew furiously at her... she screamed unable to make a sound over the monsters voice...
"We need your help..."
He motioned his hands forward and backward as if dancing. (imagine that, a dancing monster! ) And a portal opened... the wind pushing her inside the portal. Her fighting back with all her strength... she could barely keep down on the ground. She held for her life... but soon the wind became too much and she was sucked into the portal, still screaming... the portal around her was an endless whole filled with darkness. She screamed as she hit the ground hard. She sprung up and hadn't recognized where she was.
"Am I in another world?" She asked herself.
"Hey," A voice yelled, from behind. "Get out of here..."

Lola turned her head to face the person who was calling her name. She faced a boy with reddish brown eyes and hair, his skin and eyes looked gentle... (here's a picture of him... https://2img.net/h/i58.photobucket.com/albums/g261/x3_CHA/Anime/Boys/animeguy2.jpg)
"Get out of here!" He yelled again. "It's not safe." He motioned towards the trees behind her. The light beaming from his house into the dark night.
"Where?" Her voice, cold and shaky. Her body shivering from the cold weather. "I don't know where to go." Her eyes filled with tears as her soft, white hair blew in the wind... "I don't know how to get home." She fell on the ground crying. THe rain pouring down on her head made her even more cold. You could hear a noise in the distance. The boy looked to his side.
"They're here." He shouted, running up to her as he lifted her from the cold, hard ground and into his warm arms. He carried her into his house and placed her on th sofa covering her body and face in blankets. There was a knock on the door.

"Open up!" The man behind the door commanded.
"Stay still, okay?!" He whispered to the bushel of blankets. He got up and answered the door, quickly.
"Sorry, about that." He said in a nervous voice.
Lola sensed something wrong and lifted some of the blanket from over her face and saw two policeman standing at the door and she quickly covered her face again before she regretted it later. She could see a little bit through the blanket and stayed still as they talked. She didn't know why this boy was hiding her but she didn't want to find out from them.
"We're going door to door to tell everyone that if you happen to see a small girl, hmmm... maybe a year or two younger than you, with short white hair, to come see us!" He said casually.
"There aren't many houses near here. Why is she wanted for something?" He asked.
The two police officers took a quick glance at eachother and said, "That is the government's buisness only!"
"Okay then, I'll call you if I see her." He said closing the door in front of them. Waiting for them to leave so he could talk to her without them hearing.
"You can come out of hiding now," He said.
Lola sprung out from under the heavy blanket and asked, "What was that about? What do they want?"
"You." He said surprizing her.
"Why do they want me?" She asked shaking.
"I don't know. Why don't you tell me that?" He said in an accusing kind of voice.
"I don't even know." She said, sounding scared. "What is your name anyway?"
"Aaron, but you can call me Aden if you want. You?"
"Lola. Lola Star."
Aaron's eyes grew wide from surprize. The expression of horror placed on his face.
"Lola?"

"What?" Lola asked.
"You're, Lola? Lola Star?" He asked scared.
"Yeah," She answered him. "Why?"
"I'll tell you tomorrow. Things might make more sense then..." He said looking at his feet. "You can have my bed, I'll take the sofa."
She looked up at him. "You don't have to do that." She said, quietly.
"It's fine." He said. "I'll show you to my room. And he got up to show her to his room.
The next day, he knocked on the door and entered, Lola was still sleeping with on his soft bed. He shook her lightly, he spoke as she opened her eyes "Breakfast." He said, going back into the kitchen.
Huh? I barely know this guy. Why is he being so nice to me?
"Coming," She yelled, jumping out of bed.

They finished eating and Aaron asked her if she wanted to see the new world. They stepped outside and Lola got her first good look at what she stumbled upon when she crying last night. She was covered in complete beauty. Cherry blossoms all around her, light filled the air and extraordinary, glistening trees covered a clearing.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" He whispered.
"Yeah..." She answered. "So what were you freaking about last night?"
"Well..."

"You don't know the story do you?" He asked.
"What story?"
"The story of your destiny..."
"No?"
"Everybody knows about it, it's been a legend for years..."
"So... I'm a nobody?" She asked, already convinced.
"NO, no..." He said, quickly regretting what he had said so carelessly. "When you were born, there was darkness all around these areas. You weren't born on earth. You were born here, on my planet. The darkness was after you for some reason. You were special from everyone else." He said blushing.
"I'm not special!" She said doubtfully.
"Whoever said that?" He asked concerned.
"Nobody, just nobody. Can we continue, please?"
He stared at her for a while in deep concern wondering what could cause her so much pain.

"You know, every star has it's destiny," He said breaking the silence between them.
"What does that have to do with this?"
"Well, I don't know... But you're meant for something important." He said. "You see, before you were born, there was a princess..."
"A princess?" She echoed.
"A queen actually, and she disappeared without a word." He said sadly. "People believe she's locked up in a far off castle. But it's too dangerous to go there... you need powerful magic to save her."
"Look, what does this have to do with me?" She asked standing up.
"Look, I'm getting to that. Now sit down," He ordered.
She sat down and listened to what he had to say.
"No one knows why the people who kidnapped her did. You have to save the queen." He said nervously.
"I'll be more than happy to help you," She said. "But how can I help?"
Aaron smiled, "Magic."

"Magic?"
"Magic."
"There's no such thing as magic," She said.
"Who told you that?" He asked, curious.
"My parents." She said. With no emotion in her voice. She stared at her feet, waiting for him to walk away and tell her she wasn't the right person for the job.
"Are they the same people who said you weren't beautiful?" He asked.
She nodded sadly.
He looked at her with deep concern. "Well in my opinion, your parents are liars."
Lola was shocked. "What?"
"You are special, and beautiful."
"No one. No one, has ever said that to me. That's a big change."
"There will be a lot of changes down the road. Are you ready to make them possible?" He reached out for her hand and took it, pulling her to her feet.
"Yes. I am ready to change."

sorry it's so long!

It's okay and it's really good cts

Okay, I will! But if you want your sig picture to show (disabling BBCode) then you make it like this...

No I'm trying to get my url to work if it is on this

on the last part it's supposed to be like this...

[/url] NOT [url/]!!! der, der, der, der!!!!

(I'm being this girl for halloween... )

I don't get on the computer often so sue me anyway nice costume and are you gonna cts soon?

yeah! And thanks! ^^

your welcome

"How long will it take to get ready to save the queen?" Lola asked.
"A few weeks," He answered. "It's really strong magic that you have to learn."
"So lets start now then..."
"Okay, lets start out with simple magic..."

Sorry it's so short. I have writers block!!! >.<

It's all right

"Okay, this magic is called lemgardo. It's when you can lift and drop stuff, you know with your mind," Aaron said.
"So," Lola started, "how do I do it?"
"Well...." Aaron scratched his head. "You have to choose an item that you want to lift and then stick with it. Focus. Close your eyes and imagine that thing rising. Now don't feel bad if you don't get it your first time. It took me three months to learn this and by then I could still only lift a straw wrapper," He laughed. And he started to float around. "LOLA!"

[i'll cts soon]

"Lola put me down!" I didn't even know you could lift humans....
"Sorry, Aaron! I meant to only lift you an inch," She lowered Aaron to the ground. "Did I do good?"
"Good? You want to know if you did good!" Lola's face looked discouraged. "You did GREAT!" Aaron swept her up and hugged her, while Lola stood there puzzled.

so do I continue

Is anyone really reading this anymore? I'll continue later. -.-

He held her a moment longer and they drew apart. "Lets move on."
"Okay," She answered quietly.

Two weeks later, Aaron had taught me many more spells.
Calamishi, was one of them. It allowed you to see what you were facing. You could see into the future.
He taught me many more. But the most powerful one was called letardo. It could allow you to do anything with your mind.

okay, this story sucks and I admit it!!!!

CTS!!!! NOW IT'S GOOD!!!!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0h7odWnr8g kari+sora

How is it good? It's not organized or anything. I'm just making it up as I go along!

It's the best story i've heard yet, in this forum!!

okay, thanks. I'll continue as soon as I can! ^^

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY